WHAT EVERY MATURE MAN NEEDS TO CONSIDER BEFORE STARTING A RELATIONSHIP

THE UNIQUE CHALLENGES FOR MATURE MEN SEEKING A 21^ST CENTURY RELATIONSHIP

50 years ago a man was most likely to be married or seriously committed by his mid-twenties and a father by his late-twenties.  But the sexual and social and economic revolutions pioneered in America in the late 60’s and 70’s caused Americans to rethink the entire family institution causing the past 50 years to become a true experiment exploring its alternatives.  This meant the dissolution of thousands of years of tradition in which men were married at 16-20 years, fathers at 21 and grandfathers by their early 30’s; and expecting to pass into the ages by their late 40’s and 50’s; my how the world has changed.  Coupled with advances in modern science men are living longer and staying single longer, it’s a new day.

Ironically mature men live in a world that is still primarily focused on the issues of younger men and it is quite apparent that the realities of men 40 and older are quite different from those of their 20 and 30 something counterparts.  One of the most critical issues that somehow eludes the attention of sociologists is mature dating and relationships.  A young man has an optimism time can afford but a man who has already lived half of his life expectancy simply does not have time to waste through attrition with unlikely potential.  The problem is determining where there actually is potential, which theoretically should be a skill set an experienced man in his forties or older should have developed.  But alas the world is just not as perfectly balanced as the glass of Bourbon I sipped only a few seconds ago.  Many, not all mature men are overworked, overburdened with financial, health and social responsibilities and will honestly admit that the past 20-30 years of relationships have been a blur of misfit trials and experiments each time depositing them into a new seat of the same terminal of bachelorhood again.  After weighing out the good and the bad a mature man might conclude the only place of real peace has been the single life.  As the years gather themselves a single man has ultimately to think about his ability to manage his life against variables bought about by age. 

Growing older can be a potentially desperate prospect for a mature single man because he has to assess his ability to continue to mange his affairs.  He has to consider whether he desires to find relationship only a security measure to ensure he has someone to support him as he grows older or whether he wants to continue to search for a soulmate that will serve his functional and aesthetic needs.  Married to either of these choices is the social dimension.  As we grow older though we are mentally better equipped to manage most emotional issues love and the stress of a relationship, (whether it is one of love or not), tend to bear more heavily on our psyche.  Troubled and tumultuous relationships, breakups, etc., tend to age mature men faster than they do younger men not only because older men have less time to manage them but because their emotional investment is much greater.  Mature men generally have more psychical/emotional as well as financial/physical resources at stake and like most things that affect older people the process of regrouping after a cataclysmic breakup opens old wounds that are now slower to heal. 

Sometimes mature man get to a point where they figure it isn’t worth the trouble to start a new relationship that could potentially end up in failure, better to quit while they are ahead.  Others are so fearful that a breakup in their golden years will tear them apart emotionally spoiling their hard-earned peace, scarred by past experiences; they will face loneliness rather than open up what they see as a Pandora’s Box. 

Sometimes mature men are able to focus their optimism figuring they should be far better equipped to manage anything that a new relationship sends their way with their life’s experience under their belt.  These men remain open to change and pursue the potential of a new relationship as an objective experiment, taking into account but not obsessing about financial and emotional obstacles perhaps planning for both success and failure pulling only the positive lessons from the past.  These men approach new relationships the way they marvel at a virgin sunrise understanding there is only so much preparation one can make for the unexpected and therefore staying open to the promise of a new day.

FIN

Written By: BIGDADDY BLUES

WHAT TIME IS BEST TO DATE ACCORDING TO YOUR SOCIAL CLOCK?

THE PERFECT TIME FOR A DATE

As I remember, not that it has been that long since I actually had a date, of course… it occurred to me while deflecting a friend’s unannounced visit and still the revelation appears vividly in my mind.  It was the simple discovery that our bodies have a “Social-Clock”!  Yes, a social clock.  As clearly as I can explain a “social-clock” is an internal mechanism regulated by our brain to govern those motor functions that facilitate social interaction and it is directly responsible for our moods at different times of the day.  From that time on I would never take it lightly when someone told me they were a “morning-person”. For example, this means that their social clock may be able to perform certain social functions more efficiently in the A.M. rather than in the P.M.  Now getting back to my story, there I was relaxing Friday night at 8:00 P.M. when the phone rings. I hesitated to glance at the caller ID, there was absolutely no one who I wanted to talk to, I was just beginning to unwind.   It was one of my very close friends who was typically amped beyond all possible, (and reasonable), belief our moods were like night and day.  I instantly knew as he greeted me that his giddiness far surpassed my serene temperament.  I was relaxing with a tobacco pipe in one hand and a good whiskey in the other after a long week.  My body had already begun to wind down, enjoying the peacefulness of a quiet apartment alone at last having escaped from all the cares of the day.  It had been my intention to gently slide into a handsome-nap, after taking my libation and smoke, for as I mentioned before I had earned and had been looking forward to this quiet time all week long.  So I kindly informed my dear friend that while I would certainly have been more than pleased to entertain him had he called at an earlier time, our schedules were presently mis-matched as my dangling languor, even then, schemed to sheepishly escape merest rumour of his frolicking nature at all costs.  Ending our conversation I suggested that he conserve his reveling for the moment saving it to greet me in the morning when we might cut the rug together.  No revelation could have been timelier and the sound of the phone line shutting off could not have sounded sweeter.  His and my mood were poised at opposite ends of our social clocks, while he was just gearing up for a gregarious jaunt of social adventure I was winding down to enjoy the dwindling flickers of a solitary meditation.  It reminded me that one should always be aware of the windings of their social clock.

At that instant it occurred to me why some of my past dates had not been more memorable suggesting that with better scheduling against my social clock they could have been quite notable indeed.  My sin against the dating gods was all too clear, rather than decline what  my curiosity imagined to be a promising affair knowing I was already socially exhausted  I forced myself to placate my libido rather than my common sense.  No more would I accommodate anyone’s last minute date request late in the evening after we had both got all of our “must do’s” out of the way.  From now on the date would take priority as a must do and it should be scheduled  at a time that best suited both of our social clocks.  I have always had the good sense to schedule a first time date as early as possible knowing I am at my social best in the morning and the early afternoon.  Moving toward the evening I find that I am less motivated to summon energy for the considerable attention it takes to manage a successful conversation and to entertain a virtual stranger.   When I was a bouncer… umm I mean a “Floorman” I often told carousers that they should have stayed home because they were not feeling sociable before I escorted them out of the club.  That lesson taught me to respect my emotions and to avoid crowds and people in general when I was not in the mood to deal with them.  Let me make the distinction that work is one thing and your personal time is another.  Most people have jobs that require them to deal with the public to some extent and while you are on the clock you must be the model of politeness and attentiveness.  After the pterodactyl whistle blows, (a Flintstonian reference I could not resist), you are on your own time and there are some social phenomenon you can manage differently or choose not to do so at all.  I am well aware of the fact that as the evening draws closer to night I become cranky and drowsy, I am less interested in dealing with people especially strangers and more interested in taking some contemplative time alone. 

When we are substantially within the getting to know you phase of a relationship conversation typically takes a great deal more energy because both parties are still quite unfamiliar with the way their would-be lover works; it is a period of intense discovery.  Discovery, like most important things requires far more attentiveness than a standard well-oiled routine.   Anyone who schedules a date with a new acquaintance when their social clock is in the red has set up a potential for interpersonal disaster.  Ideally a date should be scheduled when both parties are full of vim and vigour but since everyone’s social clock is different it requires them to be smart and carve out a time that suits them both.  Anyone who has experienced a late night date that ended up with some half-baked sex and then one or both parties falling into a snoring stupor can relate.  So my best advice for a first date, (firsties) up to at least the 5^th date (fivesies) is to schedule them at a time when both of you will not be exhausted from work or from your daily chores.  Since most people work between 9 A.M. and 5 P.M. this means scheduling the date for a Saturday or Sunday morning or lunch.   Lunch dates are always a good compromise because many people who are socially sluggish in the morning are in full gear by the early afternoon.   The problem with lunch dates as a first date is that they fall during a time of high demand and are often cut off far too short to be effective.  Late night dates are better suited for people with whom you have already vetted out the “Getting To Know You” phase of a relationship.   The better you know each other, the fewer questions that have to be asked and answered making it easier to intuit a person’s temperament and to enjoy the softer side of their personality.  In the final analysis a well-rounded social experience is all about being able to enjoy the intensity as well as the quietude afforded by an acquaintance with whom one is cultivating a companionship of increasing interactive proximity.

For people who are more refreshed and sociable during the first 8 hours after they awaken first dates are best suited for mornings, not after a long day of work.  On a first date a gentleman should be well rested and comfortably clothed so that he can be responsive and observant, accommodating and spontaneous.  He should not be overwrought by the cares of the day.  Weekends and mornings are typically best for first time dates because the getting to know you phase burns a great deal of mental and physical energy if it is moving in the right direction.  Dating should not be stuffed between convenient periods of unavailability.  If you look at your calendar and find that you have to force a date in your schedule you should not be dating you should be looking for a way to carve out time to have a life!  First time dates are when you most need to be fresh and alert because you are indeed shopping the other person’s personality and you need to know what is on the menu.  I have always taken offense when a person pushes the getting to know you portion of the date to the end of their day on a weekend or late-night on a weekday when they could have simply met me directly after work when we would both have been fully conscious.  When someone schedules a date at or pushes it back to the 11^th hour it is a clear indication that they have not prioritized you or the date and plan to wing-it wasting both of your precious time.  A gentleman should never offer or accept a late date for a 1^st time date if he has honorable intentions, (that is honorable platonic intentions), as it is disrespectful of the socialization process suggesting the intent is to mate rather than to date.  If a gentleman wants to mate he should make his intentions perfectly but privately clear.  Let the gentleman be clear about his intentions not confusing the two (mate and/or date) and there is certainly no harm in directly stating his intent if it is more sexual than social remembering that sex like socializing is best suited for a time when he is at his best.

The getting to know you period should last for as long as it takes (there is no formula or timeline to define how long) therefore each date should carve out of their social design a generous chunk of time so that neither party is rushed.  Even if he is really pressed for time (in which case he should not have scheduled the date) a gentleman should never rush a date after it has started.  Better to cancel the date beforehand in order to avoid confusion and frustration.  A gentleman should have had the thoughtfulness to have generously schedule his agenda as a show of respect for the other parties’ time and effort.

“You never know what important events your date may have cancelled or set aside in order to make quality time to spend with you so always respect the other persons time and hopefully time will also respect you.” 

There is nothing worse than when two people get into a good conversation demonstrating a strong social vibe only for it to be prematurely ended due to lack of time management.  So first dates should ideally be scheduled as early as possible and during daylight hours especially on weekends to show there is a true commitment and interest and calendars should be cleared at least 4 hours to accommodate a long and productive experience.  If you have a previous engagement directly following a date please inform the other party before scheduling it so that they can also arrange or accept engagements after your date expires.  I say this because many wonderful dates go well beyond the time they were  originally intended to span, you might want to lavish extra time to get to know your beau and it would be a shame if you or they were so moved only to discover that you have other plans.  That is a deal killer for spontaneity early on.  A gentleman never schedules a date if he knows he will be rushed, tired or preoccupied as a show of courtesy and if something does come up other than a real emergency he should decline it deferring and devoting his attention to the date.

After the getting to know you phase has been vetted out thoroughly a gentleman can plan dates later in the afternoon or evening.  Afternoon and evening dates are usually less energetically charged and can include more relaxed settings where both parties can enjoy one another’s company without continuous distraction, activity or conversation.  Scheduling a first time date in the evening always runs the high risk that it will be lackluster due to sheer fatigue.  After you become comfortable with another person it is possible to do more chill activities later in the day and even invite them over to your home to lounge and just enjoy each other’s company.  Before scheduling a late evening or late night date make certain that you actually have the energy to pull it off assuming the other party has been waiting up for you.  I personally enjoy late evening or night dates for cuddling and listening to music.  I prefer less conversation and more relaxation like watching a flick sitting outside enjoying the weather lying on our backs on a picnic table counting the stars or watching the clouds go by against the night sky.  Late dates can be lovely because the expectation is less intense, some late dates can even involve taking a nap together.  It really all has to do with each party being able to understand their social clock and putting in the time to coordinate them both for the most pleasurable experience.  Bottom line, in order to have a successful date a gentleman should understand how his social clock works and he should be mindful of the way his dates social clock can best mesh with his own…

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to understand your date’s social cycle.  Some people are more energetic in the second half of the day or even late evening or night than in the morning so it may be a challenge to coordinate schedules so that you and your beau are fresh and energetic at the same time so you can enjoy an effective vibe.  In the beginning you just have to ask them when they are best suited to socialize, after a while you will begin to get more familiar with the flux of their social cycles.  After you have been able to cultivate a successful relationship the next phase is to really understand your partner’s social clock so that you can get the most bang out of your precious quality time together.  It is also important to understand your partner’s social clock when planning events, dinner, vacations, etc.  All of this takes time.  If you respect your dates and your social clock you will find that spending time together can be far more enjoyable.  Obviously it is important to understand when there is an insurmountable conflict between your dates and your social clock.  Never force the issue, nothing is worse or more un-sexy than being tired feeling and looking tired on a date. Don’t be afraid to suggest that there may be some inherent incompatibility but also remember that if you truly like a person and want to invest in them you will have to sacrifice to do so which will invariably mean taking a serious look at how to best exploit your dates and your social clock.

. . . F I N . . .

BIGDADDY BLUES

les lamentations d'un Valentine intention solitaire sur realsing amour-propre ...

LAMENTATION D’UNE SOLITAIRE VALENTINE

OU

LAMENTATATTION OF A SOLITARY VALENTINE

I'll be my valentine this year,

enamored of self-adoring grief,

resolved to imminent releif,

yes, I'll play boyfriend and beau,

kiss subtle passes into my ear,

craft imtimacies only I could know,

wear each handsome detail as a smile,

whilst entertaining o'er wine,

I'll be my own valentine,

receiving roses I have grown,

for valentines who’ve bled alone,

having solitude refined,

to a vacant-heartiness defined,

by the patient-yearning of a soul,

courting its ego in the patent-gleam,

of a mirror-kissed absence-stream,

spilling into a consciousness so very near,

to a kind-of happy place I couldn’t fear,

if only because any love there  could have no thief,

as I’d be my valentine this year…

FIN

BIGDADDY BLUES

Il ne ya aucune limite à la célébration de l'amour ... il englobe une, deux, trois, l'infini ...

MÉNAGE À TROIS AVEC HOMMES NOIRS

three pairs of lips pour a blended taste,

shift off-focus from on-centered landscapes,

liquefied strokes of lacquered-love,

amplify an abstract, sensory-mapping game,

scented tincturements of exuded urge,

fashion meandering bouquets of transversal musks

spoken into handsome recesses of ambient skin,

applied with a pleasure-breathed technique,

trois hommes se replient en une seule âme,

absorber virilité de l'autre par l'amour héroïque,

adorer la puissance de leur convoitise,

comme un fleuve gonflement delà de ses frontières ...

three men fold into a single soul,            

absorb each other’s manhood through heroic love,

worship the power of their lust,

as a river swelling beyond its shores…

BIGDADDY BLUES

WHEN AN AFFAIR TURNS INTO LOVE

UNFORESEEN…

never before had your hands,

touched beneath my skin,

nor had I become clothed of you,

and we had never  realized a journey,

bolder than we could sustain,

so we paused the moment and its promise,

until we could quantify the meaning,

it might contain,

this time,

we were not prepared,

and what had happened might have been,

misrepresented by lust,

our kisses portended another dance,

amidst the height of unbridled passion,

where the ominipressing matter,

would be carefully discussed…

BIGDADDY BLUES

OF LOVE... BE CAREFUL NOT TO PRECONCEIVE LOVE

OF LOVE…

Our dance resembled the unstructured ecstasy,

In spite of and before foreshadowed love,

Whose steps mimicked young emotions that could not comprehend one beat,

so we continued to dance but pushed our hearts into a dispassionate retreat,

reveling  in the sweet, unbridled rituals of unpretentious lust…

In our crusade to rarefy passion from what men called love,

we found that, (for the present at least), lust far better suited us,

until love could cultivate a more substantial history to quote,

for now, love’s potential seemed presumptuously remote,

so we worshiped what we felt and let it choreograph our way,

There was no more philosophically rewarding exercise to crown these days,

than when we consumed the remnant of our innocence to worldly ways,

replacing it with that robust gentility that lovers oft explore,

reveling only in the moments passion, invoking nothing more,

than what grows in the Fraganardian gardens of love…

Conclusion:

Love is a blessing queerly grown,

a boundless freedom no man can own,

do not name the soil round passions seed,

it may not germinate to need… 

FIN

BY BIGDADDY BLUES

THE MATURE MALE DIALOGUE III: MAPPING OUT THE LANDSCAPE OF ORAL SEX

HANDS FREE ORAL SEX:

For Many Men Simple Is Better But Others Are Like Mature Kids In A Candy Store!

Many purists prefer the most basic form of fellatio delivered through 100% oral stimulation. But there are at least three different kinds of fellatio styles.

1. Technically Assisted Fellatio

2. Manually Assisted Fellatio

3. Hands Free Fellatio

GLOSSARY:

FELLATIO: The art including the various techniques that may be employed delivering oral stimulation and pleasure to the male penis. 

TECHNICALLY ASSISTED FELLATIO:  The use of electrically powered external devices or apparatuses such vibrators, penile pumps, a flesh-light or other mechanical devices including a penile ring or scrotum stretcher/separator, a dildo, an anal plug, etc., used in order to enhance penile arousal in addition to using oral fellatio techniques but not exceeding more than 30 percent of the total penile stimuli.

MANUALLY ASSISTED FELLATIO:  When the fellator uses their hands to manually deliver penile arousal in addition to using oral fellatio techniques; these non-oral features include non-electrical accessory devices introduced to enhance penile stimuli but not exceeding 30 percent of the total penile stimuli.  Manually assisted fellatio may include non-mechanical devices inserted, attached or applied to the genitalia, rectum, nipples or other body parts including sounding devices, spanking, paddling, flogging, binding, cuffing, restraining, etc.

HANDS FREE FELLATIO: When no external, mechanical or manual devices are used to achieve penile stimulation and the fellator relies solely on their oral skills, techniques and rituals to achieve orgasm or to satisfy their host.  Hands-free fellatio is qualified by the use of 100 percent oral stimulation techniques.  Hands-free techniques may include licking, sucking, breathing, kissing, verbalization, slavering, spitting, use of lips, throat, tongue, jaws, oral massage, pressure, oscillation, biting, compressing, pulling/stretching, etc.

FELLATOR: The person or device who administers penile stimulation by orally massaging and arousing the male sex organ including the scrotum.

RECIEVER:  The man who is receiving oral penile stimulation administered by the fellator. 

A man who truly enjoys the pleasures of oral sex either as the fellator or the recipient of fellatio will tell you that it is all about technique.  The way the any sexual encounter ultimately plays out usually depends on a mix of variables beginning with a sexual attraction, then a sexual ritual or plan ensues calling upon a host of other support systems such as a sexual arsenal consisting of toys and erotic gadgets and of course the essential collection of sexual techniques or skills.  All of these features can be easily identified as a distinct pattern that represents the sexual style of the fellator and the recipient. 

Every sexual ritual consists of a step by step progression of sex which can be structured in a simple linear outline.  A sexual ritual always has a singular point of arousal precipitated by the initiator. For oral sex the opening session, the body and closing sessions define a ritual that consists completely of what is generally considered to be foreplay.  It is important to note that when fellatio becomes the exclusive type of sexual interaction orally induced stimulation and orgasm replaces intercourse as the primary sex act.  Most men do not think of oral sex as an end unto itself, it has traditionally been treated as a warm-up to intercourse because in the heterosexual model sex was intended solely for the purpose of reproduction and not merely for pleasure. Oral sex is really no different from intercourse if one approaches it merely with the intent of delivering sexual pleasure.  Oral rituals can be strictly defined within sexual roles but often oscillate back and forth as each partner assumes a servicing or role or a receiving role.  Oral techniques may be substituted by or mixed with other sexual techniques as partner’s progress through their sexual rituals whether their roles change or not.  The final stage of the oral ritual is when orgasm or the equivalent of satiation is achieved consummating the lovemaking acts.  Simply put a sexual ritual is merely a distinct pattern of progressive sex acts beginning with suggestion and arousal and ending in orgasm or erotic satiation.   When fellatio is the exclusive theme for a sexual ritual it typically has a linear structure which is easily outlined as a phased application of various oral techniques employing specific elements of a sexual arsenal that often characterize a distinct sexual style.

Once a sexual ritual begins it requires specialized support features in order for the involved parties to properly play it out.  These features will be pulled from a sexual arsenal of tools which may include a collection of oral techniques only.  Some technical tools may also be incorporated to enhance the ritual and they may consist of various sexual apparatuses, mechanical devices, visual and audio media, tactile tools such as oils, apparel, whips or verbalization.  The oral ritual changes as the fellator and the recipient advance to intensified stages of sexual exploration and appeasement relying on established techniques and introducing new stimuli in a pattern intended to bring pleasure to both.  An example of an oral ritual would be to begin with verbal stimuli describing the ensuing stages of the ritual as a tease, massaging the areas around the male genitalia but not the genitalia themselves, changing into a seductive costume or undressing completely leaving the other partner fully clothed, applying heat or cold to the genitalia while he is clothed, unzipping the trousers or lowering the pants so that the genitalia is exposed then adorning them with penile jewelry such as a ring or stretcher. Finally the ritual might include oral pleasure moving from the scrotum up to the tip of the penis concentrating on various erogenous zones to consummate the sexual act.  Consummation of fellatio or any other sexual ritual does not have to include orgasm as in the example of role players whose goal is to explore dominance and submission as a primary end unto itself in which case orgasm is clearly secondary to obedience.  No matter how the fellatial ritual plays itself out it will always pull from a support system of tools and the skills to effectively employ them as part of a unique sexual style.

While a sexual ritual is easily mapped the actual sexual techniques employed are far more difficult to define in an outlined form.  We can simplify oral techniques in a short list including Technical, Manual and Hands-Free techniques but in actuality most but not all oral rituals consist of a combination of all three techniques.  Purists mostly prefer an all-oral technique where the fellator uses their mouth, lips, gums, throat, lips and saliva in order to massage and stimulate the various areas of the penis scrotum and crotch.  These techniques may include sucking, licking, breathing of hot or cold air against the genitalia, compressing, pulling, rotating the orifice, sliding up and down the shaft, slavering, biting, kissing, tonguing, etc., etc., etc. but always only with the exclusive use of the mouth.  A hands-free technique can easily be the most physically demanding and psychologically rewarding of all three techniques because the fellator cannot rely on any external devices to give his mouth a rest and therefore requires a great deal of stamina typically gained with extensive experience administering the fully oral technique.  Furthermore the receiver enjoys the psychological pleasure and assurance that his fellator has given 100 percent of their attentiveness and as is often the case he has become actively involved in the ritual application of oral techniques to guide the fellator toward his own pleasure.  At the end of the day fellatio is all about the predominant use of artful oral techniques purposed to bring a more humanly tactile and intimate dynamic to the administering of penile pleasure over technical and manual fellatio styles. 

The hands-free technique may not be as effective as the technical and manual fellatio styles when it comes to satisfying a man who is used to enjoying penile stimulation through auto-erotic hand techniques or mechanical stimulation through external devices and is looking for oral stimulation merely as a substitute for them. At some point we should endeavor to determine the limits of what is acceptable as Fellatio marking a cut-off point for sexual techniques that employ oral techniques, rituals and styles but only marginally causing them to fall into other non-oral categories.  Consider this example for contrast; a convertible automobile is either a hard removable top or a soft retractable top, having an adjustable skylight/vent opening to about 15 degrees does not transform an automobile into a convertible the same as minimal oral content and technique does not constitute a true fellatio style.  Fellatio is fellatio!

Oral fellatio specialists would be wise to consider that receivers who come from a strong auto-erotic background may prefer a more linear style that mimics the up and down pattern they generally use on themselves and the fellator should be quite sensitive to the level of intensity required to actually deliver adequate stimulation as auto-erotic stimulation can often apply more torque and pressure to the penis than a mouth can comfortably deliver.  It is simple physics that in the application of fellatio the mouth is not an equal substitute for the hand because it does not have the same lever arm mechanical advantage. The best way to gauge how much manual work needs to be incorporated into an oral technique is simply by watching the recipient demonstrate his auto-erotic style of reaching orgasm and modifying to fit your oral style.  The pattern of stimulation should be noted as a reference for applying a purely hands free, manual/oral or technical/oral technique but changing the sequence is suggested from time to time in order to add diversity and surprise.  The manual technique will involve hand massage that closely simulates the recipient’s own manual technique with oral highlights and supplementation at varying degrees of necessity.  It can be argued that a manual oral technique that incorporates 30 percent or less manual technique is really not pure fellatio at all.  It is my opinion that true fellatio requires a minimum of 50-60 percent oral technique leaning toward the higher end of 60-75 percent of oral style. 

Naturally this brings us to the subject of technically assisted fellatio techniques which are becoming more popular as electrical apparatuses become more specialized, sophisticated and affordable.  The utilisation of butt-plugs, dildos and such both vibrating and non-mechanical, the use of penile rings, stretchers, sounding devices can loosely be defined as tools of a sexual arsenal intended to support technically assisted fellatio.  Again, similar to manual fellatio techniques, technical fellatio techniques that become pared down to 30 percent or less actual oral technique risk being disqualified as fellatio because they have far too little oral content.  While nobody expects sexual partners involved in a fellatio ritual to actually gauge the ratio of oral to mechanical content using a stopwatch it is the purpose of this article to suggest reasonable limits for each category of fellatio style.  Technically enhanced fellatio rituals can certainly be some of the most interesting because they employ non-traditional methodology to the explication of the genre of fellatio!  We all should consider embracing the current trends to expand our enjoyment of oral sex especially if it has not captured our attention before.  Mechanical devices that are electrically driven such as electric wands, penile rings and scrotum stretchers, sounding devices, anal plugs and dildos, nipple rings, clamps and other sexual apparatuses that use electrically motivated impulses to create arousing sensations are here to stay and they are amazingly effective for raising the bar when it comes to any kind of sexual technique or ritual.  More and more purists who exclusively enjoy hands-free fellatio admit to incorporating unique electrical devices into their sexual arsenals and rituals without any loss of oral proficiency.  Technically assisted fellatio techniques define an uncharted landscape appealing to those who enjoy giving and receiving fellatio but as with all things people must find a balance that preferably maintains the human, tactile element of one of the simplest forms of sexual pleasure a man can enjoy.  I have never been a proponent of the belief that a machine could ever replace a human being when it comes to sex and fellatio is no exception.  I believe that manual and mechanical accessories can be incorporated as part of a healthy and enjoyable fellatio ritual and during those times when it may be impossible or impractical to get the real thing a man simply has to brace himself planning ahead.  In these times when modern men are overwhelmed by the intensification of potentially sexually transmitted diseases among partners I encourage careful screening and the use of safe and reasonable sex techniques with new and established sexual partners who mutually enjoy fellatio.   I went into greater detail about fellatio because I perceived that while many men do or do not enjoy it they do not really understand why; this is often because they have never really verbalized it or given it any serious consideration.  There is the crowd that will say  sex is sex, putting too much thought into it will ruin it”, but I argue that since for many men it represents the most popular form of enjoyment it cannot be given enough thought!  We improve at things we want to improve at, grow stronger from things we understand and what man does not want to get better at sex?  Why gentlemen as if enough has not already been said, this one is a no-brainier…

FIN

WRITTEN BY BIGDADDY BLUES