Sunday, July 26, 2015



I’ve often wondered why and also how love simply vanishes?  I’ve asked myself,

“If love can be so easily erased then it must never have been really established”.

This revelation led me to finally accept that what I had once imagined to be a promising affection was no more than a mirage.  I realized, (as we often do in the aftermath of a bewildering journey), had I examined it closer every detail would have led me to my final evaluation. But I had always been spot-on with this particular romance, or so I thought...  I realized however that I had enabled a half-baked promise to linger for nearly 6 years pointing it out victoriously each time but never plotting its outrageously intermittent infrequency on a tangible timeline.  Though I knew it was a mirage, a dead thing given life only by my desire to make it alive I never gave it a formal ending.  To do so would ultimately be the death of that once-promising affection even though that once upon a time was now many years past due.  My rational and sensible natures would not allow me to ignore the obvious contradictions between a growing human connection and a series of random events superficially suspended in an equation whose integers refused to close or balance.  Who was this person I had allowed access into my world 2 or 3 times a year and why or rather how could I have maintained such a sophomoric affection for a man about whom I knew virtually nothing?

“We love some men as we do a comforting mirage, we keep them as a handsome image stored floating someplace in our infrequent consciousness…”

The game played by some men who do not have the strength to commit with those who do is to oscillate in the background like a vintage film emulsion.  We see them flicker as a random frame of film but take no notice that that between each flicker are weeks, months and years of blank space… We fill the substantial interstice, the blank space, with the pure fantasy of how we would have liked to have developed a relationship but it is always only a precious little piece of emptiness if that is possible… Oscillation is a seriously dangerous social characteristic, it is a trait typified by behavior which continually moves from place to place because it is too unstable and weak to establish itself any place for a meaningful period of time.  Oscillators keep moving so they can evade observation; they always have an excuse to be inaccessible and they typically contradict their actions by dropping heavily laden language about love and commitment as if to balance the fact that they have neither time nor intent to cultivate either. 

“Love always leaves a positive imprint upon the lives of those whom it touches; anything negative is not the residue of love…”

Therefore, demand that a man with whom you would be partnered spend as much quality time as is needed to build a substantive relationship.  Love cannot vanish if it has never been established!  If you are feeling emptiness it is only because you did not demand a fulfilling relationship and having invested so much time holding the promise of love the only thing you find in your hands is wasted time… not love… because love has volume and energy… never waste time…  Since there is no prescription for love, when or if it should ever appear, you should focus on the building blocks of love such as friendship and trust, integrity because without these fundamentals love cannot grow or flourish…  You should accept when you no longer feel obliged to pursue a relationship because you have no evidence of love… but know also that love is not about sexual attraction, it is possible to be in love but not to be sexually compatible… love is not a literal phenomenon, it is as unique as your ability to understand it…

“love is not sex, it does not need sex in order to exist therefore never abandon true love for sex or because of sex”

The wide-world of possibilities leaves us dangling from a short-string of pure hope…  we can take that string apart and from it weave a longer, thinner string increasing our reach to where we desire or hope to go.  It is not about how much string we have for we will certainly run out of the short string eventually, hope is about the ability to understand what the string represents thereby replacing it with understanding and increasing our scope, our reach to infinity…



No comments:

Post a Comment